WHAT GOES AROUND...

I.

How strange to see you down, to have to say
I’m sure things will look up again.
I seem to see perspectives and positions shifting,
I can scarcely tell you how I feel,
For what reveals itself now is the way I’ve changed
Since we first met.
I never dreamed that I’d be there
To help your spirits lift—
Myself, the wild man, on an even keel.
I vow to show my love,
Begin to pay the debt I owe,
Work up your head of steam,
Not droop again, myself, or let thoughts drift,
But bring my scattered thoughts at last to heel…
If I can only help make you feel better—
Where love’s the coin, who would not be a debtor?


II.

My failures seem so obvious to me,
Now that no self-defense can be allowed.
As I look back, I can’t believe I thought
That I had done the right thing all around.
Yes, hindsight makes lies easier to see,
Though I lied to myself more than the crowd.
For all the lies, it was the truth I sought,
Truth dogged my steps, and truth at last I found.
Still I profess it all was meant to be,
From one truth sprang the life of which I’m proudest,
If truth wove the web in which I’m caught,
Truth also put my feet firm on the ground.
For all my misdeeds, all the debts to pay,
At least I know love always led the way.


III.

Come lie with me, my furry friend,
And hold me tight against your tummy,
Let your hands explore at will.
Come, have your way with me.
Come, tell me what you want,
And I will do the best I can
To do what I am told.
I long to feel the force of your command,
To feel your force restrain me,
Set me free.
You’ve set the stage and I await my cue.
Your tenderness and care have made me bold
To see where things have stood,
Where one thing stands.
I long to seem what you would have me be.
This love, this life, this light,
I owe to you.
Great gifts create greats debts and obligation;
Repayment is both duty and salvation.


IV.

Compelled to take up what I laid aside,
I find the world is different,
As I, too, have changed since then.
I find that I must do what I refused to contemplate.
The ride is rough, but I am ready—
Though the years have taken youth
And all it meant as toll.
I find my new parts make a strange new whole,
And pleasures spring where I once faced but fears.
There’s little rhyme or reason to my fate.
I hold no brief for sense,
But know I walk in truth as much as may be,
And I talk less, think less, am at last prepared to wait.
There is a hand at work that makes
All thought of comprehension moot,
A thing of nought.

Actual posts still out there, somewhere...
Stay tuned.
C