Saturday, May 12, 2007


**Lightly edited for embarrassment's sake... mine, that is...YOU are on your own..

Beloved Goat:

I look out from my office at the mountains, lost in the haze, so I assume we are lost from your point of view as well. The air is so clear and sweet, my spring work-load is almost finished, and the SUN IS OUT:

Everything seems to be conspiring to make me feel alive, and glad to be alive. And I am. But I would be lying to say that that is all:

I look back at where I was in January, before I started my afternoon job with its constant flux of cheerful young people, and in February, back before You Know What, and look at myself today, and I can barely believe the difference. The big thing is, simply, that I am happy.

And THAT has mostly to do with you.

Thank you for all the hugs and kisses and...... nurturing of various kinds. Oh. Did I mention the kisses? "Besame mucho," as that cheesy old song says. But do you know what the main thing is? I really didn't know when I left home whether I could live as a gay man and live with myself. Well, I can and I do, and that knowledge is a big part of why I can look life in the eye and go right on living. Thank you.

Forgive me if I laugh too much, at the wrong things or at the wrong times: it is just such a gift to be able to laugh at all. If I look back over the last year, I can honestly say I never expected to be able to be laughing at all today.

I am spending tomorrow night being the Official Gay Guy at a local fund-raising dinner, having scorched my dress shirt while trying to starch the front and collar -- I guess there's a reason other people pay people to do things like that -- or just learn to iron. It strikes me as funnier than I can say that I am wandering around representing a major (OK, minor) gay organization while my training wheels are so firmly in place. That's just one more reason to laugh, say I... And at least you have your hands on the handlebars.

The next weekend is the Boy's graduation, which brings, amongst other things, the first meal Isis has has been willing to have with me since I moved out in July, so I am pretty psyched about that. Now it seems to me that there was something nice happening the following weekend, too, but what was it...?

Gosh, I guess I'll just have to wait and see...
"Take care of you," as the Far-Flung Voice says.

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