Tuesday, April 03, 2007


This just in from St. Catherine of Siena, by way of young friends in Germany, who quote her on their wedding invitation:

The soul cannot live without love; she must love something, for it is out of love that she was made.

Now, I am not foolish enough to think for a minute that St. Catherine would approve of what I'm doing, but I am pretty sure that I know where she is coming from.

The same thing applies to my grandparents; one of the bitterest moments in the process of my divorce came when I had finally made up my mind to leave and Isis, yielding momentarily to bitterness and knowing what my grandparents had meant to me,
asked what I thought they would have made of my actions.

At the time I told her rather forcefully to keep them out of it, but now they just join the throng of those whose example I must follow by doing something of which I am sure [as she rightly implied] they would wholeheartedly disapprove. So what's another saint or two's worth of disapproval?

I'm busy returning like a dog to my vomit, and that's all there is to it.
There is still part of me that wishes "this cup had passed me by," but I have crossed a bridge and burnt it. For better or worse, this is my life now. God help me.

Humans are love-based life forms; unless they live in love in some fashion, they cease to be human.

Count your blessings.

In the course of his blistering e-mail, the Silver Fox reminded me that I don't live in Baghdad or have AIDS (though after sleeping with him, who knows?).
That seems like a good place to start.

Hang in there, all.

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