Thursday, May 01, 2008

YOUTH LONG GONE...

I.

We all are getting older, it would seem;
The siren songs are different, by and large.

But then one day an old song strikes a chord,

Within me—deep within me,

Something longs to live that life,

To be the one in charge,
As though that were a life I could afford.

I’m crucified on my dilemma’s prongs:

My old life died in time,

And now it barges in again.

I am attracted, floored, that after all this time,

And all those wrongs,

I’m at attention, eyes on my drill sergeant,
Ready to tramp where those grapes are stored.
I saw such men, now many years ago,
So sad then, sadder now it’s me, I know.



II.

My life once turned on what I’d chosen not to do;
Denial was my charge and power.

The big “no” left some room for lesser “yesses.”

Now I start with “yes,” I cannot know

Where I’ll wind up.

I give it my best shot, but tap my way in darkness.

Every hour brings new decisions

And I have to guess which are the lesser evils,

Who’s the foe, make good on faith

Before I go to pot, like all souls,

When exposed to light and scoured.

I have to hope that I am sinning less,

However black the mien I may now show.

When we rely on grace and leap from cliffs,

Our faith is all: no “ands,” no “buts,” no “ifs.”

C

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