Wednesday, September 19, 2007



My mind's made up, and now I've made the plunge
I’ve had to tell my family what I’m doing,
Expose to outer eyes my inner female,
The force that draws me downward to the pole.

It hasn’t been so smooth—more lurch and lunge—
The trend, though, unavoidable, accruing,
Expressed in every visit, call, and e-mail…
This wild move must have always been the goal.

My conscience can’t be clean. Once I’d begun
Demanding your attention, hearing, viewing,
Declaring you the one and only he-male,
I’ve steered my little boat straight toward this shoal.

The terror is no less for being chosen:
Here in your headlights, darling, I stand frozen.


A simple choice. My life falls down around
My ankles and I have to start again
My just-confirmed decisions gone for good
In light of this new certainty I’ve found.

My life, ramshackle as it was, is “then,”
I find I have no interest in “should.”
I’ve set my course, and should I run aground,
I will not look to head to sea again…

Yes, I would still resist you if I could—
I’m past such wisdom—hear my poor heart pound.
No, I can’t live without you, man of men,
I can no longer stand it where I’ve stood.

There is no sea as deep as what we’re in—
My own life ends so our life may begin.

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