Monday, May 14, 2007


May 16, 2006:

Sometimes it has seemed to me that I am never stupider than when I think I know what I'm doing. Plenty of evidence of that... Recently, though, I have been stupider than that. I had no idea what I was doing, and I am in too deep now to know which way is up.

You might think that after losing it all over Piggo, and then letting Flip's danger, as I thought it, put my mouth that fatal minute or two ahead of my mind over and over again, I would have learned something about myself.

I didn't. So it all happened again; my only claim to sense lies in not having let it all hang out on this blog again. And here I am, laying down that only claim to sense. Because this time, the man with the training wheels on his gay nature stepped across a line that leaves him breathless, and finds himself as guilty as "any guy in a motel room". That guy I told Flip was never going to be a problem unless he became more than a guy in a hotel room. And he just has.

Well, here's a chance to pray, for me and him.
Mostly for him.

What do I really have to offer that is mine to give, and not someone else's to take away? Mad as the March Hare: if only I had known...

I think this was where my wife said she'd had enough...
and who can blame her?

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