Thursday, April 12, 2007


It's true that somehow, Easter weekend "made epoch." It was not the first time, but what made the first time finally seem less ephemeral and ambiguous. This "thing" we have may not have a future, but at least I now know it has a present.

That makes waiting quite different. Things have settled down a bit since Monday, but what really makes the difference falling asleep alone at night, is the presence of hope. The thing with feathers.

As the Fox himself said, "Dude, there's always hope." [I am not making this up, by the way; that is what he actually said...] All I can say is that if he can say that, he either hasn't been where I have been, or he's dealt with worse and wants me to relax... Why do I think it's the latter? Well, I guess I know a little bit of his history, and I know that in comparison, I should relax. Does it make me do it? Um, no.

In the meantime, here's another bit of deathless rhyme.

Too long a drive, and too much time to think...
You say I think too much -- that's what I do:
I see what is, what might be, what has been,
What you have been to me, what I've become.

You cook, but what's at stake is what I drink
In at each pore while I can look at you,
What I make in my heart of what I've seen.
Love's blind; myself, I'm only deaf and dumb.

It's not just us -- ALL love is out of synch,
Or, those in balance are the happy few.
I live half fifty-five and half fifteen,
My heart a string that any man might strum.

I make no claim, make no demand, no vow,
But wait for you within the living NOW.

[For the record, the boys in the picture on the right are blind...]

How I wish the drive out to the woods were just a little less long... though at the moment, it's probably a good thing that we are not together more. I could kiss all my free-lance work goodbye. As it is, I am going to have to CONCENTRATE to make up for lost time. And what do you suppose the chances of that are... ??? The Silver Fox actually had the gall to send me an e-mail telling me to concentrate.

What exactly does he think is causing my problem... ???

Yesterday's meeting went all right, but only because my customer is a bit of a softie, and the deadline is not absolute. Very dangerous thing to tell me, in case you were wondering...

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