Thursday, April 06, 2006

TODAY'S HEAVY QUESTION...

Where does honesty stop and brutality begin?

I am beginning to think I have to find another core value. Will take suggestions here or by e-mail. I am just bone tired.
Of the whole thing.

at 8:11 AM

3 comments:

  1. Flip4/06/2006 8:57 AM

    Great, tough question.

    I think honesty is like radiation therapy. If used carefully and precisely it can be a lifesaver. Used injudiciously it can irreparably damage or kill.

    Although I think this line needs to be respected both when being honest with yourself and with others, it's most important to be aware of when "treating" others with your honesty.

    I've learned (the hard way) that I need to keep the extent of honesty with myself a few steps ahead of my honesty with others. When it gets turned around it is usually brutality not honesty.

    For me, being honest with someone else should not be a spur of the moment, emotion-driven thing. It's good to pause, wait 24 hours, and think again before acting. And sometimes wait another 24 hours or more.

    I guess the bottom line for me is it's crucial for me to examine my motives in being honest. And it's OK to be brutal with myself in that examination.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A Troll At Sea4/06/2006 10:12 AM

    Flip:
    you put your finger on the sore spot: any reader of this little exercise in introspection will know that I have taken honesty to the point of horror, which I think comes close to brutality on some sort of scale.
    But every time my wife asks WHAT I want to tell the kids, I have to repeat that I am NOT about to share with them, or anyone else but the Most Select Few, the overlap of WHO and WHAT I am. You folks know WHAT; there are only two people in the world who know me and have access to this blog: my confessor and my therapist. My own pastor is a man I love too deeply to share this blog with -- I am sure that even if HE could recover, his love for me would not. So there you are.
    I hedge honesty about on a daily basis; it is muzzling it that is driving me slowly to the edge.
    Cheers
    One Messed-up
    Troll

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  3. A Troll At Sea4/06/2006 4:10 PM

    Ian:

    thank you for your words; I am particularly touched to have them come from someone to whom the label "heathen" is so important. We can talk about what the word really means some other time, perhaps.

    I have never actually doubted for a moment that God loves me; he made me this way, after all, and no matter what I've done since, I am pretty sure he is big enough to take whatever little I can dish out. So I guess I'm not your standard Bi Guy.

    In fact, I am more worried about how my entering marriage might look to The Judge than my leaving it, if that's where things end --no, that's wrong: I entered marriage in love. What is hard for the rest of the world to take on board is that I might also leave it in love. If I do, I will. And nobody is going to understand, except possibly a very small but supportive community, which has become my safety net, try as I might [and have] to drive some of the more helpful ones around the bend.

    Thanks again.
    Ya Troll

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