tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post368003144508888151..comments2023-05-23T04:45:16.539-05:00Comments on A Troll At Sea: OUR FAR-FLUNG FRIENDS...A Troll At Seahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09247836451322342385noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post-86211944591788031812008-06-22T05:39:00.000-05:002008-06-22T05:39:00.000-05:00Troll,1) Self-restraint in my comment means not un...Troll,<BR/><BR/>1) Self-restraint in my comment means not unilaterally ending my marriage before exploring all avenues for keeping us together - something that is still going on.<BR/><BR/>2) Regarding "acting out" (aka committing adultery): You ask the question, "What self are we being true to here?"<BR/><BR/>When I, Flip, commit adultery I am being true to the selfish self.<BR/><BR/>In your "About Me" profile you say, "Once you give up on the idea of black and white rules, how do you know what's right and what's wrong? You don't. You can't." I'm assuming you mean this within the strict moral structure that is Troll's. But without that assumption I am left with the impression that you might be just another garden-variety acter-outer trying to self-justify his selfish behavior.<BR/><BR/>Regardless, this adulterer knows that when I hurt other people, it is wrong. "Acting out" hurts my wife (whether or not she is aware of it) therefore it is easily categorized as "wrong."<BR/><BR/>3) Regarding an authentic life: I don't know where to start. Authentic meaning what? 100% honest? 100% true to one's self? <BR/><BR/>I am much more honest with myself and those around me right now. I am living a more honest life, but is it more authentic than the life I lived 5 or 10 years ago? I can't honestly answer "yes" to that question. I was living as authentically as I knew how to back then, given the situation I was in and the level of maturity I had acheived.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps this will further muddy the water.<BR/><BR/>Cheers.<BR/><BR/>FFliphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141642385903218686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post-12918842605772753882008-06-18T12:13:00.000-05:002008-06-18T12:13:00.000-05:00Then there are those of us who do double-duty by c...Then there are those of us who do double-duty by commenting and lurking. ;-)<BR/><BR/>A nice reminder about the seasons in your closing statement. ACK!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post-19705242835084430482008-06-18T11:36:00.000-05:002008-06-18T11:36:00.000-05:00There's nothing like being called out in front of ...There's nothing like being called out in front of the class by the teacher to make a student stop, pay attention, and think.<BR/><BR/>So I went back and reread <I>Forgot to Mention...</I>. <BR/><BR/>And then I read it again, along with your commentary here. What an incredible collection of thoughts, Troll. There is so much here that's made me stop and think.<BR/><BR/>We are all defined by the events that shape our lives. And I honestly believe that most people have little control over what they face. I know that personally, I did what I did because I was on "auto-pilot." It was what was expected. But it was also what I wanted. I'm "risk adverse," a "rule follower."<BR/><BR/>I have no regrets. But I also know that if I was 20 years younger, things would likely have been different. <BR/><BR/>I'm a student of behavior (20+ years, formal training). Patterns of outcomes I'm quick to notice. I hope that it doesn't appear that I judge. Because I want to be accepting; as I -- as well as my choices and my life -- need to be accepted, too.<BR/><BR/>Without even knowing (m)any of the specifics, I suspect your marriage was richly rewarding. To you, and to your wife and children. I can't imagine the loss to have given it up.<BR/><BR/>Sometime, I'd love to be able to sit down with you over beers for a discussion. And I'd love for The Goat to come along, too. I know I'd learn a lot. Blogland is so tough to navigate as an interactive media.<BR/><BR/>---<BR/><BR/>I have a closet full of suits and ties. But unfortunately, they're now only a reminder of a past life. <BR/><BR/>Maybe again. Hopefully soon.<BR/><BR/>---<BR/><BR/>Gosh, it's great to hear from Flip!Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877772974936424670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post-82638380300218212042008-06-16T19:30:00.000-05:002008-06-16T19:30:00.000-05:00thought I left you a comment yesterday....may be l...thought I left you a comment yesterday....may be losing my mind.<BR/><BR/>FFliphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141642385903218686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post-52673853346076243582008-06-16T10:56:00.000-05:002008-06-16T10:56:00.000-05:00And you can never have enough friends, whether the...And you can never have enough friends, whether they're long-distance, online or otherwise. They say you learn a lot by blogging, but much of my learning comes mostly from commenters and their "two-centes" worth. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post-18794916192584520782008-06-16T07:43:00.000-05:002008-06-16T07:43:00.000-05:00Hope you had a happy Father's Day, Troll!Hope you had a happy Father's Day, Troll!Bigghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01142387994755864057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24741394.post-44912072106884858062008-06-15T14:23:00.000-05:002008-06-15T14:23:00.000-05:00Hi Troll,I mean this in a good way...sometimes com...Hi Troll,<BR/><BR/>I mean this in a good way...sometimes commenting on your blog is like tossing a penny in a wishing well and being splashed by a tsunami.<BR/><BR/>After reading this post I was making a valiant attempt to even begin to start fixin' to get ready to craft a reply (the difficulty being figuring out what in the world I even meant when I typed the comment - although it seemed pithy at the time), when I looked to the right side of the screen and read your "About Me" description right there next to your picture.<BR/><BR/>I think that's going to help me figure out what I was trying to say. But it's lunchtime now, so it will have to wait.<BR/><BR/>Out of fairness I should point out that some things have changed in my life since I last posted - but nothing that huge. I'm still married. Maybe I should post an update before dropping further comment bombs on old friends' blogs.<BR/><BR/>More later.<BR/><BR/>Cheers.<BR/><BR/>F<BR/><BR/>PS In my prior comment I did mean to type "the sense OF being true..." I always regret when I click on "publish" instead of previewing what I wrote. It's that same impulsive / compulsive feeling I get when I "act out" although much less satisfyingly shame inducing...Fliphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141642385903218686noreply@blogger.com